When I was laying in that hospital bed, in those absolutely flattering hospital gowns, I was starving and frequently wondered how I was going to get the glue off.
On Monday, July 27 I went to emergency room for what I hoped was a case of me finally getting superpowers. They hooked me up to an EKG, and monitored my heart using pads with really sticky glue. I didn’t get all glue off my skin until a few days after.
The reason for my trip is an extremely wimpy one. I was having heart palpitations, chest pain, and dizziness for five days in a row. (The palpitations aren’t wimpy, but the dizziness is.)
Heart palpitations are when it feels like your heart is beating too fast, too slow, like it’s skipping a beat, or it’s fluttering. Basically, they feel like your heart is starting to beat in your throat, it feels weird to breathe, and you can hear it in your ears. I think mine skips a beat.
Deep down, I hoped the palpitations meant my heart was going through a metamorphosis and I would transform into Supergirl or something (I know that’s not how Kryptonians get their powers), but they were not. My heart is simply weird. Maybe I don’t use it enough.
I’ve had PVC’s (premature ventricular contractions) before, but not every day and they never left me dizzy and lightheaded in the past. But they were happening every day at 1 p.m. I could basically pinpoint when my heart would start beating louder and inconsistently.
I had planned on calling my doctor and making an appointment, but we ended up seeing a doctor sooner than planned. When I got up that Monday, I almost fainted. I tried to make it up the steps, but collapsed half way.
I didn’t like that.
My mom drove me to ER, like the awesome mom she is, and we waited and my chest hurt and we waited more and my chest still hurt.
My vitals were “flawless,” said the nice nurse technician. I was proud and less worried.
They hooked me up the EKG and an IV, and I layed in a hospital bed and tried to ignore my hunger.
The extremely handsome doctor (who was basically a cliche because he was the tall, dark and handsome kind of attractive), told me the palpitations weren’t going to hurt me and that I should carry Tums around for the heartburn.
Thankfully, it was nothing serious.
He also said I need to sleep and eat more, and consider drinking less caffeine to manage the palpitations and heart burn. I don’t sleep enough, no. I doubt I ever will. There’s too many things I want to accomplish in a day to acquire eight hours of sleep a night.
However, I hadn’t realized how badly I was eating. At work, I usually snack on trail mix, fruit, and granola bars all day. But, protein wasn’t often found in my diet, nor many carbs.
That was basically the lesson. Eat more protein and I’ve been vigorously setting my mind and body to the task.
I jumped at the chance to have an excuse to buy Panera’s creamy tomato soup and turkey bacon sandwich or Culver’s chicken fingers for lunch a few times a week. It’s for my health, right?
Now I bring protein shakes and meat snacks to work, and it’s definitely helped. I found if I don’t eat enough protein early in the day, my palpitations are worse and the heartburn is terrible.
The caffeine, however, was the hard part. I’m used to at least one cup of coffee a day. Coffee is delicious. Coffee is wonderful. Coffee is a part of my world. Coffee is life. At least, it used to be a part of mine.
I haven’t had caffeine in four days and my heartburn is practically gone. Peach ginger tea is in my mug in the morning now, and I think it’s helping. I don’t know exactly why coffee gave me heartburn and tea doesn’t, because they both have caffeine, but if it means I’m not eating Tums like candy then I’m happy.
I still miss coffee, though. I feel like I got out of a bad relationship and I want to go back, but I’m trying to stay strong. I might try drinking coffee later in the day. Maybe it won’t hurt my body if not’s morning. Does that make any sense? Maybe I just want it to make sense.
Anyway, that’s my trip to the ER and why I gave up half of my world to help my heart (that’s very dramatic and sounds like a really cheesy romcom/sci-fi movie, but I seriously love coffee).
I’m still hoping for those superpowers.
What I think when I’m having palpitations:
DANGER IS APPROACHING. Cue the dramatic music in movies that alerts people of their impending doom
The beating drum has an odd upbeat. maybe one of the monkeys is off rhythm
I can feel it in my throat. My heart tastes like the color black, like it’s missing a soul
My heart feels sore from not caring.
This is irritating.
This is extremely irritating.
This is awful.
This is egregious.
I’m running out of adjectives.
I should know more adjectives.
Will this kill me? That’d be a stupid way to go. What a boring headline. That wouldn’t even warrant a headline.
I wonder what kind of alien will emerge from my breastplate. I hope one that eats people.
I could totally fake a heart attack.
Is this a heart attack? *checks to make sure left arm still works* Not a heart attack, I still have to go on living.
It feels like someone is stabbing me in the back.
Maybe a close friend is telling someone all my secrets.
Does Pluto’s heart have palpitations?
Is that pain me finally getting my superpowers?! No, it’s just heartburn. God dammit.
Let me know how you handle palpitations and what they feel like to you! I’d love some tips on controlling them and comparisons.